Dearest Mother of Grace

by Sanguinely Yours

Dearest Mother of Grace,

Can you cure me of all my dating wows, can you shower me with beautiful creatures, with muscles like Greek Gods who have voices like Anderson Cooper? Can you please shield me from the beasts and the misguided fellows.

If only it were as easy as a prayer or a spell.

Dating in a small town has proven to be challenging. Most people move to McMinnville to start a family, not to start dating. Of course, I am the one who does things a little backwards and as I am not moving anytime soon, I have resorted to finding dates via non-traditional pathways. Yes…it would be…online dating.

How has the experience been? Not good by anyone’s standards, it has been very slow, awkward, tedious and discouraging. After being “introduced” to horrifyingly undesirable matches, I quickly switched to match.com Improvement, well sort of. At least there the pool is bigger and I can do my own weeding. The results in the end may be a wash, but at least it isn’t an insult to my ego.

Oh and the oddities of online dating. I don’t even know were to start with the odd and awkward moments as their have been so many. So, I will just focus on my process of patiently sifting through matches. This may be the worst part, as it is the most discouraging. On the upside I am learning to be a bit ruthless and unforgiving while maintaining some humility. First, I don’t even give a profile a thought if their is something sexually suggestive in their tag line. Really, do they think I would want to read a profile that says s*xdaddy? If they have not posted a photo, I just move on to the next profile. It took a lot for me to post my profile photo for the world to see, and I am not going to click button that says “ask for photo”. That just makes me feel guilty, and then what do you say if you don’t think their attractive? It is also disappointing when someone hasn’t taken the time to write about themselves and what they are looking for. Or what they do write offers no sense of creativity or individuality and is just like every other profile. I want to read for myself that the person is intelligent, kind, compassionate, etc., not be told by them.

Sometimes, I will receive a message through match mail that contains only one word. Hey or Sexy. Truly, that is all, just one single lonely word. What is a girl to do with that?

Sanguinely yours,

xoxo

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